“I am not an adventurer by choice but by fate”

(via onlyinnerbeautymatters)

For the first time in 16 years, I do not have a dog.

December 28, 2011, Annie died (white poodle in the background). She was my first pet to die. She had stomach cancer and her liver was failing. She was only 7-years old. It was incredibly sad to see her health decrease. She was so sick, so weak and there was nothing left for us to do. Not a day goes by that I don’t think of her.

Today, May 15, 2012, my little puppy, Nikki, was put down today. We just celebrated her birthday exactly a month ago. She was old, about 16 (we lost count…). She was my childhood friend. She was “my” dog. She slept in my room, in my bed. I fed her and bathed her. I rewarded her with treats… more like spoiled her (she was a gluttonous little thing). In return, I had her loyalty. She kept me safe at night as she curled up at the edge of my bed. She let me hold her tight when I needed her. When I cried, she could sense my sadness and licked my face, or buried her head into my arms.

It wasn’t until I left for college four years ago that I lived without her. She was my cuddle buddy. It was hard to get used to waking up without her jumping onto my bed and licking my face.

It’s amazing how attached one can get to an animal. It seems so silly to be so sad, so nostalgic about a dog. I don’t think you can understand it until you have one.

Tonight, she laid her head in my lap one last time. She became drowsy from the sedative. I pet her like I always did. “I love you, baby,” I continued to whisper into her ear until the doctor said, “she’s gone.”

I was the last to look at her as we walked out of the room. I was the first to see her, too. When my Aunt brought Nikki to us to become a part of our family, she immediately ran towards me. The two of us were always the closest. I liked having her around. Having 3 brothers, it was nice having another female present.

So… here’s to you, Nikki. You were the perfect dog. I could not have asked for a better companion. I hope you’re up in doggy heaven, running around and chowin’ down on bacon.

Be good Nikki. Annie missed you too much and must have called you up there with her. I love you both.

(via fuckyeahgiraffes)

(Source: ericslager, via fuckyeahfreaksandgeeks)

(Source: cassieoutdabox)